Reluctant Retiree

What qualities should the perfect friend? Should they be loyal and dependable? Should they be available when we have need? Should they be generous with their time and resources? Do we hold ourselves accountable to be the type of friend that we expect others to be for us?

Colossians 3:12-13 gives us a list of qualifications for the person who desires to be a good friend and Christian brother or sister. It says, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

That is quite a list. Notice that it differs from the list in the first paragraph. The first paragraph lists things we expect a friend to do for us. The Colossians’ verse lists internal attributes, or the kind of person who makes a good friend. It is abundantly easier for us to be the first paragraph type of friend because it just requires certain actions from us. To be compassionate, kind, humble, meek, patient and forgiving requires changes in our hearts. Most of us do not sustain these attributes over time.

Let’s ask God to build these internal attributes in/into our lives so that we can become true friends and even brothers and sisters to others. Our relationships will certainly change for the better as He works these qualities into our lives. Jesus possesses these attributes in abundance, so He can surely work through us in transforming us to be like Him.

I have trouble with words. Especially in social situations, I struggle with finding the right words to express myself. I feel awkward most of the time. When I see the reactions of others to what I have said, I often am aware that I didn’t say it properly.

I have found one source that seems to help me. Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” When I focus on God’s Word, my speech pattern is inevitably changed. Instead of speaking my opinion or some self-serving comment, my voice is used to speak truth. Instead of sarcasm, I speak thankfulness and truth. Instead of grumbling I encourage others.

As truth from God’s Word fills our hearts and minds, we begin to draw a different perspective from it. Our hearts become overwhelmed by the grace and goodness of God and we want to share encouragement and joy with others.

A friend can be defined “as a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection” (Oxford Languages). If this friend is trustworthy he/she can be “relied on as honest or truthful”.

Oddly enough, God wants to be our trustworthy friend. He sent His own Son to die for us, destroying the chasm of sin and shame that separated us from Him. Jesus Christ is often called Immanuel, God with us. He took on human form so that we could know that He understands us and our weaknesses.

II Samuel 22:31 says, “This God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” God is a trustworthy friend for all who believe. His works are perfect. His words are true. And He protects those who call upon Him. Friendship requires mutual affection. Won’t you offer God your sincere affection?

“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Romans 14 :17

Some people think that the Christian faith is a matter of following a list of rules. While what we do is important, God wants to transform us from the inside, our character. That’s why Paul wrote that God’s kingdom is not about eating and drinking according to the law, but rather His kingdom is about bringing righteousness, peace and joy to our inward character.

God certainly wants us to do good works, but He knows our selfish and sinful nature. We can’t do all that God requires in our own strength or through our own willpower. We are simply too self-centered and weak. Therefore, God has given His Holy Spirit to live within every believer in Jesus Christ. It is this Holy Spirit who works within us to have the will to do good works and the power to do them.

We begin by confessing our selfish and sinful nature to God. Then we offer ourselves to Him in order that His Holy Spirit can transform us into the people God designed us to be. Righteousness, peace, and joy will then grow in us and through us.

Because I usually hike early in the morning, I have the opportunity to look up and see stars, planets and the moon on clear days. Sometimes clouds move in and obscure the lights above. That is always a disappointment for me as I really enjoy seeing the lights.

In the Bible, God is often pictured as the Light. It says that His Light is Life and that there is no shadow of darkness in Him. It also says that His Light shatters the darkness, like a bright light does when illuminated in a dark room. Darkness, or evil, cannot stand in the presence of God as it is completely destroyed by His Light.

God has called every believer to be light in the world. Matthew 5:14-16 says, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” As we are lights in the world, we dispell the darkness and bring glory to God.