Reluctant Retiree

Have you ever watched geese for very long? They generally spend the whole day walking around pecking at the ground for food. If they have food they are satisfied. They don’t need to do anything else.

I know people like that. If they just have enough food, they are not motivated to do anything else. They won’t put effort into securing their future or developing relationships, or even taking care of other basic needs.

This seems short-sighted and misdirected to me. But people who focus on some other things can be equally misdirected. I would include in that category those who focus on their clothing, riches, fame, and selfishness to the detriment of loftier pursuits.

Jesus says it best. “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself.” Luke 9:24-25 ESV We lose our soul if we focus on ourselves only.

I went to see my cardiologist today. He gave me good news and bad news. The good news is that my heart muscle is working just fine. The bad news is that my heart’s electrical system is not working well at all. So he is sending me to a Cardiac Electrophysicist.

I have never heard of that medical specialty. Sometimes it seems that specialties are so narrow that these medical personnel know only one thing. How about the gastrenterologist who only does colonoscopies? If you ask a specialist about a body function outside his specialty, they probably can’t help you.

Often I feel like the specialist. Ask me a question about something I’ve studied or had experience with and I can give you an answer. The answer may not be correct based upon my limited study or experience.

Sometimes when I am getting a medical test, like an MRI or CT Scan, I think to myself why don’t they just go to the source to find out what they want to know. I believe that God formed me in my mother’s womb and he still knows the intimate details of what is going on in my body. He can see and feel the incorrect electrical impulses in my heart. He knows the causes and what should be done to fix them. However he is not being asked, except by me, of course. He is not a specialist, but in fact, he knows all things, including the effective remedies. I say, “Go to the source, the creator.”

Psalm 139:13-14 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

I don’t know if it is my age or the fact that I have spent a lot of time out of the country, but I just don’t understand a lot of what is going on around me. I am not just talking about the macro issues of politics, pandemic, and cultural divisions. I’m pretty sure that few people understand what is going on in those areas, although many people say they understand.

I am confused about the things people talk about around me. I am not sure where people are coming from. It often takes me days of thinking about spoken words for understanding to come, even on a limited basis.

Have you had that experience? Even on a limited basis? Am I the only confused person out there? Is everyone else living on a higher plane?

I don’t think that I am the only one. I think we all feel a sense of disconnection with others. Some of us feel this less than others, but the disconnection is real. It is like we are trying to speak over or through a wall between us. In one sense that is okay as we are not all alike. On the other hand we need to break through these walls to understand each other and displace our biases in order to truly love one another.

Jesus has broken down the walls of prejudice and can make us understand one another in love. The apostle Paul wrote, “But now in Christ Jesus you who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility”. Ephesians 2:13-14 ESV

As I write this, a workman is trying to fix a water fountain outside our patio door. Normally it works for only a few months, but this year it has only worked for a few days. One problem is that the owners of the apartment complex let the water level in the pond, where the fountain sits, get too low for the fountain’s intake.

While watching the workman, I am thinking about the various fountains life has brought my way. I have had fountains of joy at the births of our children and marriage to the greatest lady on earth. Fountains of loneliness have sprung up at times of isolation. There have been fountains of adventure in foreign travel and living overseas. Broken or even just strained relationships have caused fountains of sorrows. It is interesting how the seaons of life cause fountains of excitement, disappointment, confusion, or longing.

Jesus spoke of a different kind of fountain. This fountain or river never ceases and constantly gives life. He was speaking to a woman drawing water at a well when he said, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

I want this type of fountain to take root in my life. Therefore I am connecting myself to the source, Jesus.

A worldwide pandemic have you worried? Are you anxious about political events and the coming national election? Do health concerns weigh your mind down?

It is completely understandable that these and other concerns cause us to be anxious at times. What can we do to find some relief?

First, we need to drect our thoughts to the present, where we live. The past is gone and we cannot relieve worry by concentrating unduly on the future. Thinking about the present better prepares us to handle the future.

Secondly, I would suggest that what we think about affects our attitudes. If we are constantly having negative thoughts, our attitudes will follow negatively. Instead, when we are thankful for what we have and think positive thoughts our attitudes and outlook will improve.

Philippians 4:8 puts it this way; “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

After retiring we moved to this area to be close to two of our children and five grandchildren. We have been blessed to spend a lot of time with the grandkids, especially.

One thing I am constantly amazed by is their short attention span. Once our granddaughter picked a book she wanted me to read to her. She gave me the book and sat next to me. I opened the book and read with great enthusiasm. Five seconds into the book she got up and left, while exclaiming, “this is boring.”

At times I have watched our kids with their kids and wondered how it has become the parents’ primary job to entertain the kids. Kids used to be able to entertain themselves, at least some of the time. Now they want parents to provide nonstop entertainment.

I’ve thought about this and examined my own life. I seem to have a short attention span also. I want God to entertain me and be at my beckon and call. It doesn’t work that way. While God is always present, He is not there to entertain me or do as I wish. In fact He is more interested in building my character than fulfilling my wishes.

God is good all the time and is constantly doing good in my life. However the good He is doing may hurt a little bit as he removes the bad stuff. If I am willing to persevere in thanksgiving, he will make something wonderful of my life.

Romans 8:28 says, ” And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

I am a baseball fan and have been watching seceral Major League Baseball games lately. It has been strange to watch games with no fans in the ballparks. I admit that it is not as exciting to watch games without the enthusiasm of the fans. It makes me wonder if it is real.

It also makes me wonder what is more important, outside appearance or the quality of what is inside. The ballpark’s outside appearance is not impressive these days. What is going on inside, however is just as exciting as ever.

Does this apply to us? I think that what is going on inside of us is more important than our appearance. We may have a beautiful countenance, popularity, and/or wealth but be miserable inside. On the other hand our appearance may not be too attractive but we experience great joy and fufillment.

God is more concerned with our hearts than he is with appearances. He would rather we be generous, loving and humble rather than we become famous or wealthy.

When Israel wanted a king, they looked for a man of great physical stature. They chose Saul. That did not work well. Saul did not walk with God and the nation suffered. God chose the next king, David. David was young and small, but he was a man after God’s own heart. The nation thrived under David’s rule.

I Samuel 16:7 says, “Do not look upon his appearance or upon the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

I have been hearing a lot about integrity lately. To me, integrity means matching your walk with your talk. Often times people express their values, but their actions do not match those values.

Politicians do this all the time. For instance, we once had a candidate for governor who actively sought help for the poor. This is a fine value and one which most people can support. Her tax return revealed, however, that she gave very little to charities. In fact, she gave less than 0.3% of her rather high income to charities.

I used to see a lit of bumper stickers with a peace symbol. These same people were often cutting people off in traffic and making obscene gestures, hardly promoting peace.

I faced a question of integrity last week. I promised my grandson that I would go outside and play catch with him. Unfortunately, I got ill and couldn’t follow through. However, when I saw him a couple days later, I remembered my promise and played catch with him. He was happy.

However, I have learned that I very often fail to match my walk to my talk. When I talk I express high and lofty ideals that I just don’t measure up to. How can I begin to walk in integrity? First I need to admit my weaknesses. Then I have to ask God for help and follow where he leads me. Psalm 26:1 says, “Vindicate me , O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.”

I walk every day, sometimes up to 16 miles a day. Today I intended to walk a lot less. Within the first two miles I stumbled on a crack in the sidewalk and fell. Fortunately I wound up with several scrapes but no breaks.

This reminded me about the fragility of life. We can be going along quite smoothly, when all of a sudden, something trips us up. The obstacle could be outside ourselves like a financial setback or layoff. It could also be a mistake that we make ourselves, like letting anger get out of control. Either way we get off track and it takes a lot of energy and time to get back on track.

How can we stay on track? Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” God’s Word can lead us step by step. That doesn’t always prevent the obstacles along the way but it does show us the way through those obstacles and how to stay on track.

I am a unique individual. But so are you. There is only one of each of us. We are like snowflakes, no two are alike.

I have strengths and weaknesses. I also have some peculiarities. Some I like and some I don’t. Some other people like and some they don’t. Sometimes I boast of my strengths, only to be humbled by circumstances or other people. Sometimes I am ashamed of my weaknesses.

Am I content with my weaknesses? Hardly, I want to eliminate them and turn them into strengths. But no matter how hard I try, I don’t seem to make progress. Willpower doesn’t seem to be enough. I need help to become the person I want to be. Where does this help come from?

For me the only help I can find and the only help I need is found in Jesus. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” To be transformed into the man I want to be I need to be renewed by understanding God’s will and allow him to change me.